Thursday, December 9, 2010

People who practice yoga can be annoying too!


Ok all you yogis out there (I know I'm on a roll with the puns lately) I know we all love the feeling we get from practicing yoga, the calming benefits of deep breathing, increased balance, strength and an overall greater sense of self.  But I will say there are some things that take place in a yoga studio that take me from tranquility to insanity.

1. Wash your yoga clothes, towel, mat...no one wants to smell you becoming one with yourself from across the room.

2. Leave your cell phone in the change room. Why for the love of God would you bring it into the studio? You can't answer it during class anyway. I love standing in tree pose and having some jackass' phone buzzing across the floor next to me, next time I will accidentally on purpose fall out of tree pose onto your phone and send it into the next life. namaste

3. Close the door! Especially if you are taking a hot yoga class, there is nothing worse than laying in a nice hot studio and have someone leave the door open so all the cold air from the hall comes rushing over you, not to mention the noise from the hall, change rooms etc.

4. I know "wind relieving" pose has a funny name, and yes it does put pressure on your belly and yes sometimes it does in fact make you want to (see name of pose) but for the love of all things holy people you are in a room full of strangers, inches away from strangers, head to toe with strangers...HOLD IT IN!

5. Don't leave the room! It's distracting. If you feel like you are going to pass out then just lay down, no one will judge you. If I am standing on one leg with my arms over head trying to focus on one point on the ceiling and you get up like a water buffalo and charge out of the room, guess what? We are all going to wobble and topple and then we will ALL be judging you. Lay down!

 6. Respect the yogi, wait until she/he has thanked you for your participation and said "namaste" before jumping up and rolling up your mat. Would you get up and leave a play before the curtain has dropped?

7. Take a quick shower, 2 minutes that's all you get! I'm sweaty and standing in a long line, move your ass.

8. SILENCE! There is nothing worse than laying on your mat before class in savasana (corpse pose) and having people chatting next to you. As soon as you enter the room it is meant to be tranquil silence. I don't care if your friend Bobby slept with your sister at your wedding, well I might, but save it for after class.

9. Appreciate that each yoga class will feel different, you don't have to muscle your way through it grunting and groaning, your mini-drama on your mat is not helping anyone.

10. Learn to appreciate the abilities of those around you. When I first started practicing yoga I would watch those flexible students executing one perfect pose after another and envy them for their flexibility, their sinewy bodies, and dare I say damn them and their superior gene pool all the while cursing my short stocky frame I dragged from the murky depths of my gene puddle. But over the last couple of years I've come to appreciate every student and their efforts, those who flow from one pose to another effortlessly, those who appear to be struggling and those like me who are in the middle of the pack. And when I realized I had made this mental shift I realized I had finally got the point of yoga.

Thank you for reading, namaste.

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