My Day - March 30

I've been doing much better with my diet the past week but I need to get more sleep. After a number of restless nights I can really feel myself looking for artificial stimulants like sugar and caffeine. I must resist the temptation but must admit I caved today and had a treat! I need to work on increasing my intake of veggies...only three servings today.


Today's Menu

Breakfast:
1-1/4 C Vector cereal
1 banana
1C Almond milk
355 calories

Lunch:
vegan sesame seed pate sandwich
vegan brownie
750 calories

Snacks:
pretzels
protein bar
380 calories

Dinner:
veggie wrap
225 calories

Today's Total Calories: 1710

Today's Workout:
Crossfit

Calories Burned:  250

I pretty much ate all the calories I burned today but that's okay, sometimes you need a neutral intake day. Here is my crossfit workout, completed for time, no rest, no dropping the bar.

500 meter row
21 sumo squat high pulls (39.2 lb barbell)

21 cleans (34.7lb barbell)

21 overhead press (34.7lb barbell)

250 meter row

21 sumo squat high pulls (34.7 lb barbell)
21 cleans (34.7lb barbell)
21 overhead press (34.7lb barbell)
500 meter row
21 sumo squat high pulls (34.7 lb barbell)

21 cleans (34.7lb barbell)

21 overhead press (34.7lb barbell)

time: 17:25

My Day - March 29

I was craving the carbs today, probably due to the fact I was a bit dehydrated. I need to work on getting up from my desk more often and filling my water class. 

Today's Menu

Breakfast:
Vegan Smoothie
350 calories

Lunch:

Whole wheat toast with sugar free jam
Vegan Thai soup
granola bar

580 calories

Snacks:

protein bar
1C cantaloupe
granola bar
425 calories

Dinner:
vegan sushi
450 calories 

Today's Total Calories: 1805

Today's Workouts:

8km run (49:48)

Calories Burned: 745

A little light on the veggies but overall on track for calories based upon my workout. Until tomorrow. 

I don't recall asking for your opinion!

It's funny how commenting on people's appearance is considered socially acceptable, whether the comment is positive or negative. Believe me we all do it. Who hasn't seen a picture of someone they haven't seen for a while on Facebook and said "Oh, she's gained a few pounds." We even make comments to each other about our bodies which are not always appropriate. "I look fat!", "You look like you've lost a few pounds.", "Ugh I hate my thighs". Have you ever tried to go a single hour without allowing a negative thought about yourself or someone else enter your mind? Try it...I think people are either positive and negative in nature and for someone who thinks of themselves negatively may find it easier to think and say nice things about others.

We practice savasna in yoga, also know as "corpse pose", the intent is to lay perfectly still while beads of sweat pour down your face at the end of class and just let it happen, to just push thoughts aside as they come into your mind. It's one on the more difficult poses for people who are fidgety, I'm not but a bead of sweat rolling down my face drives me insane. Over the past few years I've learned to not move a muscle, I can lay there in complete stillness as an itch creeps across my nose or a sore muscle starts to ache, I have trained my body to obey. I have yet to master the ability to master my thoughts. Paula our yoga instructor once described our minds as an excited puppy, and it was so appropriate. The goal is to not stop thinking but to acknowledge the thoughts as they occur and gently push them aside. As I lay on the mat in savasana I usually have negative thoughts of how I performed in class, what the rest of the day has in store for me, how my ass is falling asleep. I try to embrace the practice of savasana throughout my day as negative thoughts enter my mind but who doesn't love a good bitch session with a friend or reading a trashy celebrity magazine?

My intention is to spend more time embracing positive thoughts when they come to me and acknowledging the negative thoughts but pushing them aside. Positivity breeds positivity and I think we could all use a little bit more of that in our lives.

Pollyanna signing off!

My Day - March 28

I have to say posting my daily diet and exercise on this blog is very motivating...anytime I think "Oh I could have a treat." I stop cold knowing everyone will see exactly what I'm eating. Not to worry the odd brownie will appear but hopefully rarely.

Today's Menu
Breakfast:
1-1/4 C Vector cereal
1C almond milk
1 banana
355 calories

Lunch:
toasted tomato sandwich with soy cheese
cucumber slices
vegan thai soup
550 calories

Snack:
1C cantaloupe
1 granola bar
220 calories

Dinner:
large salad with 1C kidney beans, 1/4C guacamole & 1C salsa
400 calories

Today's Total Calories: 1525

Today's Workout:  
Rest Day!

This was nutritionally a great day, I ate three servings of fruit, over seven servings of vegetables and ate protein with every meal. I got to take a day off and give my muscles a rest after that long cold run yesterday. Until tomorrow folks!

It's Sugar Free Day!!

It's funny how we seem to be categorized as either "sweet" or "salty" people. My husband loves salty treats like chips and nuts, I can leave a bag of chips for weeks, they don't interest me, I am definitely in the "sweet" category. Just don't hug me. If you put a chocolate brownie or cupcake in front of me I'm salivating on my shoes. I saw this segment on Dr. Oz once where he said it had something to do with how our taste-buds are organized on our tongue. Since I can't reorganize my taste-buds I try to limit my exposure to sweet treats as much as possible. But it is soooo hard.

It is so much easier to avoid the sweets once you go a few days without. It's like quitting smoking, the craving is always there but it gets easier everyday. Maybe I'll start smoking again and see if that helps with my sweet cravings, KIDDING! I need to get my sweet tooth, or according to Dr. OZ my sweet tongue under control. So I declare today, March 28 sugar free day! Here's hoping it starts a trend.

My Day - March 27

Well it was another beautiful day here...but cold! Where is spring? My legs are so sore from my insane triad of intense workouts yesterday but I managed to finish my scheduled run on legs that felt like stumps. Tonight I will have to spend some time soaking in Epsom salts, stretching and applying cream to my windburned face. It's a good thing red is my colour.

Today's Menu
Breakfast:
1-1/4 C Vector Cereal
1C Almond Milk
1 C Strawberries
300 calories

Snack:
Luna Bar
180 calories
Sports Gel (eaten on my run)
120 calories

Lunch:
Vegan Sesame Seed Pate Sandwich (I am addicted)
1C pineapple
1 granola bar
795 calories

Snack:
Nacho Chips & Salsa
250 calories

Dinner:
Vegan Thai Soup
300 calories

Today's Total Calories: 1945

Today's Workout
14.16 km run 1 hour 31minutes
Calories burned: Approximately 1400

A pretty good day overall, I was a little over on the calories but that's ok. I should have eaten more before my run, I was so hungry when I got home I hoovered in anything I could get my hands on...hense the 795 calorie lunch. Better planning is required for sure!

My Day - March 26

So I've decided to post my daily food intake and exercise on this blog as a way to keep myself in check. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. Ideally I should eat about 1800 calories a day based upon my activity level, 1500 on light-activity days to lose roughly one pound a week. Let the games begin!

Today's Menu
Breakfast: Vegan Smoothie
350 calories

Lunch:
Vegan Sesame Seed Pate Sandwich
cucumber slices and carrots
500 calories

Snacks:
Whole Wheat Pita
2 tbsp hummus
1C strawberries
1C pineapple
1 lara bar
1 granola bar
1/2 bag microwave popcorn
800 calories

Dinner:
Toasted tomato sandwich with soy cheese
350 calories

Today's total calories: 2000

Today's Workouts
6km run (34 minutes)
Kickboxing (45 minutes)
Crossfit (21 minutes)

Calories burned: approximately 900

Woohoo a good day! A couple hundred extra calories were needed to get me through those intense workouts. For those who are curious my Crossfit workout today was:

For time:
1 mile run
10 box jumps
20 squat thrusters (12lb dumbbells in each hand)
30 squat cleans (12 lb dumbbells in each hand)
40 kettlebell swings (26lb kettlebell)
50 push-ups
60 sit-ups
70 squats (to 90 degrees)

time: 21:26  killer!

Raising the bar, and surprisingly not a chocolate bar.

I've come to realize over the past few weeks that I need to raise my game. I'm chillaxing on the manic workouts, the diet could use a little work and I'm drowning myself in Diet Coke! Fack!  Time to get it under control! That is a lot of exclamation points.

So I put a new schedule on the fridge, its a bit more forgiving than my last but I am a person who needs to be working towards a goal. I've signed up for a 10km in May which is no big deal and just for fun, I ran 10km the other day with no problems. I'm also training for a half marathon in May, though I may not actually travel to Nova Scotia to run it, I'll run it here in spirit. (trying to cut back on travel expenses). The problem with another half-marathon is I'm not worried about the distance, I've run 20+ kilometers dozens of times. If you told me I had to run 21km tomorrow I could do it, so I'm not feeling motivated to train my hardest.

So in an attempt to kick start myself I've thrown my name in the ring for the New York City Marathon again, after three entries into the race lottery you get automatic entry. I can't remember if this is the third or forth time I've entered the lottery. So fingers crossed in November I'll be running a full marathon! I've decided even if I don't get in this year I will run one here in Ontario. Now I get to put together a training program, my favorite thing to do!

I have three months before I'd really need to start training so I need to find something to get me going between now and then. If I don't, I know I'll wake up in June 10lbs heavier and kicking myself in the ass.  I've looked into boxing but I'm really trying to cut back on gym fees.  I'm tired of working my ass off for a weight-loss goal but I'm having trouble finding that happy middle ground.

Maybe I should post my daily workouts and diet on this blog...that would keep me accountable! But probably boring to read. I'd love some feedback! Look another exclamation point, I'm staring to type like a cheerleader.

Spring Fever

It's that time of year when things are starting to melt, the sun is starting to feel warm on our skin and you don't have to put on four layers to go outside, this is also the time I start to get the itch to start training for a race. It was so nice yesterday I ran in shorts! I run all winter, even at -28C this year, and I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I get back from those cold runs but there is something about spring that puts a little extra spring in my step.

In my ongoing pursuit to find balance I am trying to juggle all my workouts into some sort of feasible schedule. If I decide to do a half-marathon in May I'll need to run three days a week, my base fitness is good so I'm not to concerned about the actual training runs but I still need to log some miles if I want a good finish time. Did I also mention I'm addicted to Crossfit? What a rush! I'd like to do it a couple of times a week, and of course there is my beloved yoga which I should do at least twice a week to maintain my flexibility and keep my body limber for running. I've decided I'm going to take a break from kickboxing, as much as I love it I've done it three to four times a week for over three years, I need a rest.  So again I have a dilemma, three runs, two Crossfit, two yoga classes equals seven workouts a week....did I mention I also teach spinning?

So many things I love to do so little time. I'm pretty lucky that I have all this time to devote to fitness so I shouldn't complain. Looks like I'll have to do a new schedule for the fridge, if for nothing else than to schedule rest days! Repeat after me, balance, balance, balance.

A Joyful Breakup?

Well I've done it....I've kicked my daily, sometimes twice, thrice daily, weigh-ins to the curb!  Studies show that people who weigh themselves frequently are more successful at weight-loss, and the recommended frequency is weekly. I can't manage weekly, it still drives me crazy so I'm going to attempt to weigh myself twice a month on the first and the fifteenth. That's it!

I get in these manic states about my weight and start exercising like a fiend until I can't function. I stress about my diet and journal every morsel and as soon as I eat one thing I've deemed as "bad" I go completely off the rails and for days eat all the "bad" things I've banned from my diet...thus resulting in inevitable weight gain. Oh we are crazy little creatures.  So I've decided not to track my calories for awhile, I'm sure I'll mentally track my food but I'm taking a break. No sitting up a night with the calculator figuring out how much I can eat the next day based upon how much exercise I do. I'm going to try to relax the reins, see what its like to live like someone who doesn't have food and body issues. Hopefully I'll be able to settle into a healthy pattern, maybe I'll drop a few pounds, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll learn what it is I need to focus on with my diet and maybe just maybe I'll learn to stop this cycle.

Aren't we all just works in progress? Wish me luck friends this is a new journey for me...I'll send a postcard.

On the Cover of the Rolling Stone..well not quite!

The March issue of SELF is on stands and my little feature is on page 24. I was so nervous about the final result as you have no control over the content, layout or tone of the article. After talking with several researchers and providing multiple photos it was nice to open it and not see a giant ink splot across my face a la Charlotte's engagement photo in the New York Times.  I don't think I could have provided a more unflattering "before" picture and knowing 6.5 million people are going to see it is a bit traumatizing.

The only thing I wish was different in the article was the use of the word "fat". It's true that I really focused my attention on losing weight when I had to start shopping in plus-size stores but I never said "I was tired of feeling fat." I hate the "f" word, the three letter one...believe me I love the four letter "f" word.  It's not that I'm in denial, I was fat, technically morbidly obese, but I think the word "fat" sounds angry and judgmental. I like to make jokes that I was a "big girl" or "heavy" and sure I was fat but its a label that I think is hurtful. Medically you are overweight, obese or morbidly obese, a doctor would never call you fat. Even fat is technically edipose tissue, doesn't that sound better?

It's a minor thing but it jumped out at me. I guess I'm still sensitive about it.  If you had a chance to pick up a copy I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, I think before and after pictures are so inspiring whether you know the person in them or not.

Whoop there it is!

Well well well what a difference a few days makes. I have found my mojo! There is nothing like the feeling of kicking ass during a really tough workout to give you a shot of adrenaline and kick start your motivation.  I'm feeling good, I feel like I have a handle on the overeating and am back to fighting form. What a relief! I hate that feeling of waning, it doesn't happen often to me but when it does I go completely off the rails.

As miserable as I felt last week when my motivation to eat properly and exercise were at their lowest in years I relied on a few tricks to get me back on track.

- Even when I knew I was going to fluff my way through a workout I went anyway. I know sometimes it takes a few to get me rollin' again but I always feel a little bit better just getting off the couch.

- Think about the reasons why you are lagging in motivation, I realized it was a combination of jet-lag, post vacation let down and over-training so I cut myself some slack. Realizing it would pass was like getting a hall pass from the guilt fairy.

- Pick up some reading material. I love fitness magazines and the new issue of Runner's World is all about spring training and how to lose those winter pounds with running. It was just what I needed to read to get myself thinking about spring, fitness and getting back out on the road. After running in Hawaii I had lost all desire to pile on the layers and run through snowbanks, but now the urge to log some miles is back!

- Evaluate what you've been doing. My goal for 2011 is to chillax. I need to be more efficient with my time  away from home and get the most out of my workouts. I don't want to spend 10+ hours a week exercising anymore. I am taking two rest days a week and am cutting back to 6 hours a week. That may still seem like a lot to some but for me it is a huge shift in priorities.

So I'm back in the saddle my friends and it feels great! Crossfit this weekend is gonna rock! I think I'll go for a run on Sunday and who knows perhaps it will feel like spring. Rock on my fellow fitness freaks!

Ho Hum

Is it just me or do you feel like you are waiting for something to happen? It's that time of year when the snow is starting to melt but a snow storm can still happen at any time, I feel in limbo. I'm not running a spring race this year, as my IT Band has decided to make itself known again, so as I rest up and lay off the long distance runs I'm mixing up my workouts but I just don't seem to have any drive, no get up and go, alas there appears to be a hitch in my giddy-up!

What do you do to kick yourself in the ass? I've had almost three weeks off of serious training so I doubt I'm over-trained anymore, perhaps I've grown bored of my regular routine, dare I say perhaps I've lost that lovin' feeling for working out? NO that's not true! I'm going to turn 36 in a few days, maybe I'm feeling time ticking by, maybe I'm in a funk. Who knows.

One thing I do know is that I have spent the last 20 years focused on my weight and man I am tired of it. Sure I've made some great accomplishments and lost a huge amount of weight, but when do I get to relax? I don't think I'll ever completely be able to let it all go and not be focused on food. Part of the reason I've always developed very difficult training programs for myself is it allows me to take some of the focus off food and put it on exercise and I can adjust my diet around my training requirements. ie if I am training for a long distance race I can up my intake of carbs, I can eat more calories on long training days etc. Right now I'm not training for anything and I feel like I'm flailing. I can't get a handle on my diet and I'm lacking the motivation to ramp up my workouts.

If anyone out there has a spare can of whoop ass please feel free to send it my way!

Balance

As I mentioned in my last post I got back from Hawaii last week and I'm trying to hold onto that wonderful relaxed vibe I felt throughout my trip. I'm really trying to find a balance between life, work, exercise and diet. This past week has been nice, I've taken the pressure off myself and I've done a couple of workouts but my diet needs some work. As soon as I stop exercising my diet turns to shit. I am starting to realize that exercise is more than just a hobby that I enjoy, its also a great stress reliever for me, the more I workout the less I stress eat, the less I workout the more I stress about not working out and my diet goes to hell. I need help.

I don't want to put a schedule back on the fridge and start obsessing about exercise, I truly love exercise but the guilt I feel devoting so much time to it is starting to sour this love affair. My goal for the month of March is to workout five days a week....unstructured, one day I might go for a run, another yoga, no plan just do what I feel.  And I need to get a handle on my diet, I want to take a break from keeping a food journal but I know keeping a daily record is key to weight loss. I'll give this more thought and let you know how its going in the coming days.

I'm Back!

Like a nasty rash I have returned! After an amazing trip to Hawaii (I'll spare you all the glorious details) I am back in the saddle, sort of. I seem to have lost my mojo. Perhaps I lost it on the North Shore with the chilled out vibe. I cannot for the life of me get going, I'm hoping its jet lag.

So the big question...did I work out while on vacation? Yup, but not a lot. A couple of hard spin classes, two weight training sessions in the gym, one 8km run, one paddle-board lesson and that was about it. I was conflicted at first and got up at 5am to head to the gym the first few days and then I decided it was time to chillax. For the love of God I had travelled over 7800 kilometers to Paradise and was still driving myself crazy with exercise.

The next big question...did I gain any weight? Probably, but to be honest I haven't weighed myself since I got back. Partially because I'm sure I'm up a few pounds but also because I kind of don't care at the moment. It's probably the jet lag but I am tired and I know as soon as I get on that scale I'll start driving myself crazy counting calories, working out and obsessing over every minute of the day. So I'm letting things be for now. I'm eating healthy (though in Hawaii I did indulge a fair amount) and I'll get back to working out in the next few days but I'm trying to hold on to some of this easy going vibe.

I went to a Sports Massage Therapist before I left to have my IT Band worked on, and its a mess. It was a painful hour and a painful reminder that I was over doing it. I was going to sign up for another half-marathon in May and cram the training in over 10 weeks, but I think I'll pass. Maybe one this fall, or maybe not, we'll see.

Another thing I realized when I was in vacation was how much I missed spending time with my husband. Life gets so hectic and only seeing each other daily for an hour or two during the week has become the norm, mostly due to my crazy workout schedule. Getting to spend over two weeks together all day, everyday, was awesome. So I'm not keen to jump right back into my previous schedule.

So there it is folks....I seem to have absorbed some of that relaxed Hawaiian vibe.  We'll see how long it lasts. ;) Aloha!