Embarrassing Moments: Part Deux

Since my first round of fitness foibles seemed to be such a hit I thought I'd give you some more. Enjoy at my expense folks! Not to worry I have an endless supply of embarrassing moments.

#1 Raising Money For Charity
A group of colleagues and I decided to raise money for charity, pretty easy stuff, get some pledges, run/walk 5km or walk 1km. I eagerly started collecting pledges looking forward to the big day. The event was on a Sunday so naturally what do you do on a Saturday night? Go to the bar! It quickly turned into a personal pub crawl and before I knew it it was 3am and I was standing in line for a poutine.  For our American friends poutine is a heavenly dish of french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy and in my case also topped with half a bottle of ketchup. Around 4am I crawled home, stumbled into bed...only to awake at 8:20am with a jolt. OMG I didn't set my alarm and I was suppose to be at work to meet my colleagues in 10 minutes! I bolted out of bed, threw on my team t-shirt and ran out the door. Man I wasn't feeling great but this was for charity! I ran up the office stairs looking a fright and was greeted by my co-workers' looks of displeasure. I excused myself to the washroom to freshen up...and to my horror peel the giant strip of hardened ketchup off my chin.  Good times!

#2  Church Picnic
Growing up my sisters and I attended Church on a regular basis and of course attended the obligatory Church picnic. At one of these Holy events all the kids were running around playing Frisbee, which of course turned into tackle Frisbee, and I of course proceeded to get assaulted by a fellow Parishioner as he cocked his arm back to throw the Damned disc and hit me squarely in the face, splitting my eyelid open. Praise Jesus I didn't lose the eye! After many Prayers we headed to McDonald's to give thanks for the day with a Happy Meal, as all good Christians do, and to partake in some of that delightful orange syrup drink they call juice.  I was feeling closer to God then ever and me and my swollen eye headed out to Playland to Rejoice, where I promptly regurgitated a tidal wave of orange beverage down the Captain Cook slide. Hallelujah!

#3 Get Your Ass Back in the Boat
My wonderful friend Connie kindly invited me for a weekend at her cousin's cottage, on beautiful Lake Ontario, with her family.  We spent a great day on the boat, touring the lake and decided it was time to go for a swim. We frolicked about in the warm summer waters, lounged on the white sand beach and after much frivolity swam back to the boat.  I don't know if you've ever been to Sea World but its amazing how those huge Orca whales glide out of the water and up onto the pool deck with the greatest of ease. Hoisting my ass back into the boat was not quite as elegant. I climbed the rungs to get back on and couldn't for the life of me hoist myself up over the edge, so Connie's father politely lent a hand...no luck...her cousin grabbed an arm and pulled...no luck and much to my horror the final heaving push came from below as Connie balanced my wide load on her shoulder and pushed me over the threshold toppling me onto the floor of the boat. Beat that Shamu!