What Size Are You?

Does anyone really know what size they are? I have clothes in my closet from size 0 - 8, xs - large. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Some designers cut their clothes bigger, some smaller. Try shopping in another country and you'll either be dancing a jig or on the change room floor in a puddle of tears.

I remember feeling so excited after losing a significant amount of weight, I had slowly gone from a size 20 down to a size 10 pant and they were getting pretty baggy. In order to not look slovenly everyday I decided to go shopping. Dropping from double digits to a size 8 was going to be a huge milestone for me, no pun intended.  I entered the change room with my coveted size 8's, heart racing, a smile on my face....and then I couldn't get them done up. DAMNIT! It was like watching a slow leak in a balloon. All that work, all those pounds lost, that feeling of excitement, gone. I almost cried. There was no way I was going to purchase another pair of 10s...I had earned the right to wear an 8! Or maybe I hadn't, maybe my clothes had stretched, maybe I was delusional. It's funny how an article of clothing made halfway around the world by strangers can carry such emotional weight.

Sure we can blame the media and fashion magazines about the idealized size 8, 6, 4, 2, 0 but when I was in that change room I wasn't thinking about the latest issue of Vogue or the runways in Paris, I was thinking about celebrating all my hard work with a pair of pants in a size I hadn't worn since high school. How is it possible that all my clothes were too big yet the next size down was too small? Frustrating.

I left the mall and didn't buy anything. I wish I could go back to that girl crumpled up in the change room and tell her that number on the tag was not a reflection of how far she had come. I could go on about cuts and styles and how there is no set sizing but it wouldn't matter. It's funny, I remember that day of not being able to fit into a size 8 for the first time like it was yesterday yet I have no recollection of the day I did actually fit into a size 8 for the first time. Hmmmmm